I hate love to say it, but I told you so.

The early chalk gave us an even more kompelling and krazy weekend.

So much madness to kover, but it’s late and really only one thing matters now: Duke is done. Down and out. Dancing no more.

Social media is all over it, so I’ll just take the night off and let people who are much wittier (or at least better with GIFs) than I am take over the blog. Tip of the cap to KUBE’s own Todd King, who I am declaring the winner of this contest for his komment on our Facebook page. He gets the headline. The best of the rest are below. Enjoy.

When Duke loses pic.twitter.com/jXsXBTwUES

— The Fake ESPN (@TheFakeESPN) March 20, 2017

Duke lost. #MarchMadness pic.twitter.com/nHLzT9OBiF

— The Ace Of Shade (@dennisthecynic) March 20, 2017

Grayson Allen in the Duke Lockeroom
pic.twitter.com/D5xfHMBxNL

— benson lukose (@bluke123) March 20, 2017

You had Duke in the finals? You must be trippin pic.twitter.com/4ZxCTgfr7E

— Larkin Belton (@LarkinBelton) March 20, 2017

New photo in honor of the Duke loss: pic.twitter.com/wjCQmZtrop

— Tar Heel Nation (@UNC_TarHeelFan) March 20, 2017

"Who closes a Ralph Lauren store before 9pm???" pic.twitter.com/OW6XJziIAE

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) March 20, 2017

#mood
When Duke takes that L pic.twitter.com/t4RxlDrkqB

— Jig (@JordyBrian3) March 20, 2017

Me when duke loses pic.twitter.com/WWnD3rczx2

— Brandon williams (@hawaiinshirts) March 20, 2017

S/o my Duke fans… ? pic.twitter.com/JJVx3dLuTG

— Flash Gordon (@JOSH_GORDONXII) March 20, 2017

Me seeing Duke get bounced from the NCAA Tournament Round of 32: pic.twitter.com/IN2w7Y62vy

— Tar Heel Nation (@UNC_TarHeelFan) March 20, 2017

When you’re in the Sweet 16 and Duke is going home. pic.twitter.com/oRrGWMhdA2

— Tar Heel Blog (@tarheelblog) March 20, 2017

Mood: because Duke is heading home ✌?? pic.twitter.com/E9bByo3uB6

— D. ♌️ (@Swurve__) March 20, 2017

"do i LOOK like i ordered the tilapia?" pic.twitter.com/3CiHR1IISU

— Bill Hanstock (@sundownmotel) March 20, 2017

Everyone on Twitter waiting to give #Duke this L like..#marchmadness pic.twitter.com/Dphk2hLznH

— Mike Hanley ?? ?? (@Magic20099) March 20, 2017

The #CryingNorthwesternKid is a sophomore at Duke now… Feel old yet? #marchmadness pic.twitter.com/Djdg5WHGhS

— Danny Woods (@dcwoods89) March 20, 2017

Soooo….the kids are alright? Jon Becker runs one hell of a basketball pool. I remember when Don and I ran the KUBE we used quills and parchment to record peoples pics by hand and then Don would get on to the KUBE KOMPUTER and do Kalkulations:

It was thankless work and sometimes it took several months before we knew who was ahead in the first round. Results were normally posted around October but naturally by that time all the money was gone…expenses… what can you do?

But times have changes. I don’t understand if the stats update after each game or each round but it certainly is nice to know exactly where you stand. After the first round my brakket stood at 19th, 63rd,373th and 397th for an average of 213. That is….slightly out of the money but close. It has been a chalkcentric first round and while that is dissappointing to the masses it is nice to see that the NCAA Kommittee had some idea of what they were doing and HOW GREAT IS IT TO NOT HAVE TO LOOK AT JIM BOEHEIM THIS YEAR? (I hate old bald white men)… which brings us to Dan Kukla’s mean spirited hating on Bryce (“THE SHOT”) Drew! It is one thing that your kid hate’s Trump. That kid is a LOSER! Everybody says so. Some of the best people are saying so. If the Kukla kid had not voted so many times, Trump would have won Kalifornia! Additionally… the Kukla kids… all illegals. One of the “grandkids” lives in Texas…the other two in Kalifornia. Koincidence? I didn’t think so either. Anyway… you can hate the Donald (the Kukla children all had issues with their father so that makes sense) but you cannot hate on Bryce… and the smart kids from Vandy! So they lost the brain bowl this year… he is building a program in the SEC which is more than anyone can accuse the Missouri Tigers of doing.

Anyway, lots of chalks but the second round….today… this is what really separates the lucky from… well from me and likely from you. The first two days were east but I think we will see some Karnage today and tomorrow.

Tomorrow while watching the games I will reflect on the make up of this years Kompetitors. It is one of the saddest, most desperate groups of individuals ever gathered under one banner. For some of you I am happy that your mothers are not alive to see you in this type of company. For others of you, your mother brakket is ahead of yours and that creates a whole different set of problems.

In any case…. It is 2017 and a lot of us have been doing this particular stupid thing for a lot of years. God bless us each and every one and when UCLA wins it all… I will release my tax returns!

When us media types don’t have anything to write about, we make up fake news about President Donald Trump.

I’ve never aktually done this, but I heard about it on Fox News so it must be true.

Since our chalky tournament is kurrently giving us a slow start to the Madness, seems like as good a time as any to tell you my own fake Donald Trump news story. The twist is that what I’m about to tell you is all true, none of it is news and I am no longer a “media type”.

Now thats trouble.

So my 2-year-old son refers to our President as “Donald Trouble.”

That’s basically my story in it’s entirety. But hey, it’s kinda cute and way more interesting than anything that happened during the first two days of March “Madness”.

I assure you he came up with this name all by himself and is not parroting either of his parents. How he came up with this name I’ll never know, but it’s not my place as his father to korrect in matters like this. Honestly, I don’t even know if there is anything to korrect. Seems like he nailed it.

I wanted to name David’s bracket with some play on words alluding to kids and madness going together. It’s a khaos bracket by nature, so I was thinking something like “Kukla Kids Khoas,” but you see the akronym problem with that one. Don’t need any real fake news koming out about the KUBE being in bed with Donald Trouble’s fan klan klub.

So that’s why my son’s picks are called “David’s Donald Trouble Bracket.” I realize “trouble” isn’t eksaktly a synonym for “madness”, but whatever, it’s klose enough and it gave me a free blog in my back pocket for a chalky day. If Donald Trouble’s presidency isn’t the equivalent of madness, well then, maybe Star Wars was a documentary after all.

I kould have used this space to komplain about the “flagrant” foul at the end of Seton Hall’s loss or Michigan’s inability to miss a 3-pointer or all the fake news Fox Sports produced about SMU being good at basketball. But I did enough komplaining last night about a Valpo grad’s inability to koach smart people, so my fake fake Donald Trouble story it is.

If you’re mad about the lack of madness, just sit tight and get ready for a wild weekend. I think all the early chalk will give us some kompelling, klose, krazy games in the immediate future.

P.S. “Donald, The Good One” is kurrently ahead of “Donald Trouble” in the standings. I know this bekause Jon dragged the KUBE into the digital age with live standings now available to the masses along with projected standings, akcess to everyone’s brackets, a full picks summary and a champions summary.

Three cheers for Jon! We all owe him a big THANK YOU for all the tireless work he does to keep this thing running while his partner does nothing but type up a few fake blog posts here and there. Most importantly, this means I no longer need Obama to wiretap all your phones in order figure out who you picked.

As for “The Good One”, don’t get too komfy up there because some “Trouble” is koming your way.

First Lady Trouble

The new face of the KUBE slogan

“This team is so unprepared. It is so poorly koached.”

Those were my exact thoughts after watching the end of the Vanderbilt-Northwestern game.

Then…

“Oh yeah, haha. Bryce Drew. Valpo.”

Suddenly the pool slogan was all making sense to me.

Ladies and gentlemen, welkome to another year of “Stupid People Doing Stupid Things” — a.k.a. The KUBE.

The irony here is of kourse that this was Vanderbilt versus Northwestern. These aren’t stupid people (well, not the student-athletes, at least). These are the smart kids.

So what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks was that “smart kid” doing when he fouled with the lead?!?! On purpose!!!

Homer says, “DOH!”

I know it’s so very P.C. right now to say how horrible we feel for him. How our hearts go out to him and our guts wrench for him. How it was so loud and chaotic. How there’s so much pressure. How some dumb koach from Valpo was pointing at the guy with the ball. How he’s just a kid and now he’ll never live that down.

Blah, blah, blah. Womp womp, womp wom, womp womp.

Sorry (not sorry), but that was a mind-numbingly bad mistake, even if your koach is from Valpo.  What to do — more specifikally what NOT to do — in that situation is basketball end-game 101. Not even that. Certainly not at a skool like Vandy. You don’t even need to know basketball to know what not to do there. It’s just kommon sense.

Even my 2-year-old son knows…

I don’t feel even a little bit bad for him. The only thing I feel bad for is David’s otherwise perfekt bracket. C’MON, VANDY!

Plain and simple, that play was foul.

But that play was just the beginning. On their next possession, Vandy just runs some clock and pulls up for an NBA 3. Didn’t even pretend to run a play. Pssst! Hey Koach Drew, your team aktually is losing now. Might wanna, you know, draw something up — get a shot inside 30 feet.

And this is nit-picking, but the game’s final play was just as laughable. It was always going to be a Hail Mary, but the Vandy kids klearly had no idea what to do in that situation and again settled for a lazy, even-more-diffikult-than-it-should-have-been shot.

Sorry (not sorry) to the massive Valpo KUBE kontingent. I know we all (yes, myself inkluded) get the warm-and-fuzzies when we see your baby-faced alum and remember that epic highlight he produced. But while I may kid about the value of your degree as a cheap-shot way to poke fun at every other person referred to by the KUBE brand, the komments about that Krusader’s koaching (or lack-thereof) are no joke. And by that I mean it is a komplete joke.

If you thought this was the one shining moment…

…you must not have watched much of the Madness this year

I’m trying so hard to not be a prisoner of the moment.

To not be that guy — that sports writer.

When amazing things happen, it’s all too easy to call them “the greatest this” or “the best that.”

A few will hedge by saying “one of the” in front of those monstrous statements, but that’s mostly a throw-away line.

You start hearing phrases like “all-time” and “ever” thrown around all too casually.

What people usually mean is “in recent memory” — and “recent” is becoming shorter and shorter in the so-called “Snap Chat Generation.”

One of the greatest finishes in the history of sports. #NationalChampionship pic.twitter.com/A4TUKU2k7g

— NCAA March Madness (@marchmadness) April 5, 2016

But here’s the deal: I want to be a prisoner of this moment.

I have no idea if this was the best championship game ever or the best championship finish of all-time, and what does it really matter? All I know is it was all a heckuva lot of fun to watch.

The final 90 seconds — particularly the last two shots during the final five — will receive most of the attention, of course, but don’t forget what a great game we saw before all that went down.

Back-and-forth action all game long.

Lead changes left and right.

Both teams threatening to break it open, with the other refusing to let that happen.

North Carolina’s furious late comeback.

THEN…

Marcus Paige’s “how in the world did he make that” shot to tie it.

MARCUS PAIGE!!! #NationalChampionship
https://t.co/y9RVKpoz5i

— NCAA March Madness (@marchmadness) April 5, 2016

Kris Jenkins’ clutch buzzer beater to win it seconds later.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!! #NationalChampionship https://t.co/POLVkUJnpj

— NCAA March Madness (@marchmadness) April 5, 2016

Wow.

It certainly feels like the best championship game ever — certainly the best final five seconds of all-time, right?

Who knows? Who cares?

That was awesome.

I’m a Tar Heel fan and my wife missed out on an extra $220 in winnings, yet I still can’t get over that game and that finish.

If using phrases like “best ever” and “greatest of all-time” make me a prisoner of the moment, chain me to the wall!

One Shining Moment? That wasn’t one shining moment. That was a whole game of shining moments, and the last two shined brightest.

The perfect ending to a whole tournament of shining moments.

One Shining Moment. https://t.co/lA2hl6uxOo

— March Madness TV (@MarchMadnessTV) April 5, 2016

Remember the last three games of the first Friday? Notre Dame’s rally. UNI’s half-court miracle (and everything that happened before it). Cincy’s game-winning dunk denied by a fingertip (after the Joe’s and Bearcats gave us their own back-and-forth finish).

Let’s just pause a second — okay, a few seconds — to let that all sink in.

Keep in mind these three games ended within minutes of each other.

And keep in mind that these were mostly one-possession games during the sekond half with ekception of a few brief moments of separation.

And keep in mind that these were all swing games in most March Madness pools, with plenty of people on both sides of the aktion. If you won or lost all three, that was a 51-point swing (by KUBE skoring) in either the right or wrong direktion.

Yes, I lost all three.

And I loved it!

Oh, the Madness!

Down went #2 Sparty.

Down went the #3 Mountaineers.

Down went the #4 Golden Bears.

Two 12’s, three 11’s, two 10’s and three 9’s all moved on.

Providence won on an inbound layup with 1.5 seconds left.

Wisconsin X-ed out Xavier with a fade-away 3 in the corner.

Oh, the Madness!

The luck of the Irish tipped in a game-winner to cap a frantic comeback against #14 SFA.

Texas A&M came back from a 12-point deficit with 44 seconds left.

Oregon, Oklahoma and Maryland all needed late comebacks to avoid upsets heading into the Sweet 16.

ND vs Wisc.

Orange vs Zags.

Buddy Hield!

Syracuse’s crushing comeback over top seeded Virginia to make the Final Four when they weren’t even supposed to be in the tournament at all.

Got all those shining moments? Not even the iconic “One Shining Moment” highlight package could capture them all.

Here it is again. Because I love you.

One Shining Moment. https://t.co/lA2hl6uxOo

— March Madness TV (@MarchMadnessTV) April 5, 2016

Yes, that tournament ended with that championship game on those final two plays in the last five seconds.

Like I said, “chain me to the wall!”

Look, of course I wasn’t around for UNC’s first title in ’57, a triple-OT win over KU in Kansas City.

Sad to say I didn’t really appreciate Jimmy V’s frantic run around “The Pit” in ’83 until ESPN’s “Survive and Advance.”

Who needs a hug?

Still wasn’t around for Villanova’s first championship in ’85, a two-point upset over G-Town known as “The Perfect Game,” and I was only just being born as the next four title bouts all finished with four-point spreads or less.

But I do know this was better than the ’99 meeting of my two least favorite coaches when UConn downed Duke, 77-74.

Better than Syracuse-Kansas in ’03.

Yes, better than the Mario Chalmers’ 3 with 2.1 seconds left to take Kansas-Memphis to OT in ’08.

Why do all the great moments involve teams I hate?

And only because Gordon Hayward’s half-court heave rimmed out, better than Duke-Butler in ’10.

WHY?!?!

So was this One Shining Moment the best ever? Greatest of all time?

The verdict is in and I’m guilty as charged.

Christ is risen! Kansas is dead!

Chalk got rocked!

Three of four #1 seeds lost in the Elite 8, inkluding the hated Jayhawks, the chalkiest of them all.

Deuces were wild on the left side of the bracket.

ACC completely took over the right side.

Big 12? Paging the Big 12!

This is what the “best konference is kollege basketball” look like.

Kongrats to Buddy’s Sooners, but four teams from this year’s so-kalled best konference in kollege basketball under performed their seed (#1 KU, #3 WVU, #6 Texas, #8 TTU) while the other three failed to ekseed seed ekspektations (#3 Texas A&M, #4 ISU, #5 Baylor). All this while the ACC monopolized an entire night of the tournament. The only ACC team to under perform (UVA) was beaten by another team from their konference.

Orange you glad you didn’t turn the Syracuse-Virginia game off at halftime? Love those double-digit Final Four teams, even when its a traditional power like Syracuse and especially when they have a punny mascot. When will people learn to stop telling teams they don’t belong in the tournament? Did VCU and George Mason teach you nothing?!

This is now four konsekutive years with a #7 seed or worse in the Final Four, with six of such teams in the last six years: #10 Syracuse (2016), #7 MSU (2015), #8 UK (2014), #7 UConn (2014), #9 Wichita State (2013), #8 Butler (2011), #11 VCU (2011). #11 George Mason was of kourse in 2006, and who could forget 2000 when The Donald won with a koin flip thanks to a pair of #8 seeds in the Final Four (UNC and Wisconsin). Oh, the Madness!

The Orange will be krushed just like everyone else

Christ is risen, and so is my beautiful wife’s beautiful bracket. Picking three of the Final Four teams — inkluding Villanova where the rest of the world picked the rocked chalk — propelled her up from a triple-digit ranking into a money scenario.

Duke got dumped. Cincy, Dayton and Xavier all under-performed their seed in especially heartbreaking ways. THE Ohio State Suckeyes were nowhere to be found.

UNC is krushing all who stand in their way.

Yes, this has been a memorable, magical March, even as my cup of dirt sinks towards the bottom half of the standings.

Glad to see the Madness is back. Unfortunately, I’m going to continue to write about nothing.

Such is the life of a dumb sports writer.

When nothing happens, you make nothing into something. Then, when something actually does happen, you ignore it and continue to talk about that nothing — because you made it something and now it’s all you want to talk about.

I’m talking, of course, about the conversation between Duke’s Coach K and Oregon’s Dillon Brooks.

IT WAS NOTHING!

Nothing to see here

I only mentioned it after Thursday’s games because I hate Duke and never hesitate to include a fun, throw-away line about Coach K when I have the chance — and because I’m a dumb sports writer, so when everyone else is talking about something I must talk about it too.

It was so obviously nothing that I figured it would blow over by the morning after all the assigned instant reaction articles were out of our system. But it did not blow over. Dumb sports writers weren’t satisfied with throw away lines during a one-night stand, and opted for a full-blown investigation.

They dug up they audio.

They read lips — which is even more unnecessary when you have the audio.

And then, even when the Madness resumed and there was something to really talk about, they continued to talk about this nothing during the broadcast.

So here I am, being a total hypocrite, still talking about nothing.

What’s that? Two teams who few thought would survive the first weekend (or even be in the tournament at all) advanced to the Elite 8 with dramatic late comebacks? What about that Madness Coach K was spewing after the Oregon game?!?!

You won’t believe what Brooks did. He shot (and made) a throw-away from way behind the arc as time was running out in a game that was already won. Oh, the Madness!

But you really won’t believe what Coach K said to him a few moments later: “You’re too good of a player to do that. You’re too good of a player.”

Yes, he said THAT. To his face! While shaking his hand!

I always knew Coach was just the worst!

Not only that, but he failed to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth when asked about it in the press conference.

Q. Apparently after the game Dillon said that you told him that he was too good of a player to be showing off at the end like that —
K: I didn’t say that.

Q. He said of you that you were right.
K: You can say whatever you want. Dillon Brooks is a hell of a player. I said, “You’re a terrific player.” And you can take whatever he said and then go with it, all right?

Yes, Coach K chided Brooks, who is not his player, for actions that were, at worst, unnecessary. (Brooks later had to apologize for mentioning all this to the press, even though he was excessively respectful about it. This is the world we live in.)

Yes, Coach K didn’t exactly own that moment, making it seem like he was only congratulating him and not — gasp — coaching him.

In the words of a Little Einstein: I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! The man we know as COACH K was caught COACHING another player.

Mainstream media is teeing me up to slam my favorite punching bag here, but I just can’t do it. Coach K was just doing what coaches do. Doesn’t matter if he was making a mountain out of a molehill. Dude just lost a Sweet 16 game, so he was probably a little peeved. If THAT is what we consider going off the rails for him, well that explains why he is so highly regarded by just about everyone.

As for not entirely owning it in the press conference, I’m guessing the dude just knows what dumb sports writers do. Just look what they did with nothing. Imagine what would have happened if he gave them something.

Am I defending Coach K? No, because there’s nothing to defend. Remember, this was all nothing: The shot, the comments, the press conference… all nothing.

He still looks like a rat, coaches other team’s players like a rat and lies about it later like a rat.

Have I taught you nothing?!

They apparently postponed the Sweet 16, so instead of a basketball roundup I give you this…

Seriously, though, wasn’t that way more entertaining to watch than anything on CBS or TBS tonight? I thought March Madness was supposed to start back up by now. Oh, well, guess we have to wait another day. Until then, here’s something else you’ll actually enjoy watching…

Hey, at least that was better than having a bunch of chalk thrown in your eyes. Even the “controversies” were as lame as a Duck thrown by Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl.

I mean, can you even believe this heated exchange?

Oregon’s Dillon Brooks: “Coach K is a legend. He just told me that I’m too good of a player to be showing off at the end. And you know, he’s right. I gotta respect Duke. I’ve gotta respect them. And you’ve gotta learn from these things. He’s one of the greatest coaches.”

Krzyzewski’s response when asked about the interaction: “You can say whatever you want. Dillon Brooks is a hell of a player. I said, ‘You’re a terrific player.’ And you can take whatever he said and then go with it, all right?”

Yep, that’s about the most outrageous thing ever. I always knew that rat-faced Coach K was just the worst.

Sad thing is that it actually WAS the most outrageous thing tonight. I’d go into another rant about how dumb sports writers are but I really can’t blame them on this one. They literally had nothing else to write about. Heck, I’m two videos and 270 words into my Sweet 16 blog and have yet to mention a single thing that actually happened during a basketball game. Why? Because nothing happened during any basketball games!

Time for another video to fill the void.

Now THAT was riveting! Pure Madness!

Sheesh. I guess the nothingness that happened tonight seemed even worse coming off what some people are calling the most exciting first weekend in March Madness history. Even if it was only the best Friday–Sunday set ever, that’s still a long way to fall when you’re falling into a black hole of nothingness.

Are you seriously still reading this, wondering what happened?

I already told you… NOTHING!

Thus ends my blog post in which I told you nothing.

In March, there’s a thin line between Madness and Sadness.

Monday means the opening weekend Madness is over and the Sadness of your busted bracket sets in.

Friday night was Madness. Those same teams gave us a full helping of Sadness on Sunday.

These girls know what I’m talking about but have no idea what side of the line they are on.

pic.twitter.com/V13kRNwDzx

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) March 21, 2016

“They stole defeat from the jaws of viktory” is a fun play on words when a team chokes up a late lead, but those words played all too well for a pair of purple underdogs.

We’ll start with Stephen F. Austin. I know UNI is the lead everywhere else, but I lost the longshot award on SFA so you can wait while I throw a temper tantrum.

The Lumberjacks dominated Notre Dame. Okay, sure, the game spread never cracked double digits and they trailed much of the sekond half, but SFA controlled that game and deserved to win. You know what, who cares if that’s even true or not? They were up 5 with two minutes left and this is my tantrum not yours.

The point is, my longshot winner lost on a fluke tip-in by a guy named Pflueger. He hadn’t skored all game and spelled his name by pulling letters out of a scrabble bag. Seriously. A search of the Scrabble dictionary returns only five words that start with Pf and two of those are noises not words.

Look at this garbage basket.

Dumb luck of the Irish.

Okay, tantrum over. Let’s talk Northern Iowa.

This is how you erase a 12-point deficit in 35 seconds. https://t.co/l3eJ83wDDB #MarchMadness

— NCAA March Madness (@marchmadness) March 21, 2016

Up 12 with 44 sekonds left.

UP TWELVE WITH FORTY FOUR SECONDS LEFT!!!

How is it even physically possible to skore 12 points in 44 sekonds?! Oh yeah, UNI also skored a basket during that nightmare meltdown so Texas A&M impossibly skored 14.

Apparently the Panthers thought the game was over and started reading my Friday blog because all they could do during those final 44 sekonds was scream “WHAT THE *** IS GOING ON?!?!“

Every player on Northern Iowa during the final 44 seconds of regulation.

I realize their in-bounding specialist was injured at the absolute most in-opportune time, but K’MON MAN! Do they not allow teams to press in Iowa? When Bohannon went out, it looked like Oprah was his replacement on the baseline: “You get a turnover! You get a turnover! You get a turnover! Everybody gets a turnover!”

Props to the Aggies for eksekuting — I still can’t believe they didn’t foul down 2 as the final sekonds of regulation ticked off — but watching UNI down the stretch was like looking at a pikture of Buzz’s girlfriend… WOOF!

Buzz’s girlfriend… WOOF!

The worst part of this is that Northern Iowa really did dominate Texas A&M. They controlled that game. They were the better team. They deserved to win.

They just won on an ikonic half-kourt shot two days earlier. They krushed the hated Jayhawks in 2010. Beloved Saint Kurt Warner is their maskot. They deserved to win!

Tip of the hat to Oregon, Oklahoma and Maryland for fending off legit upset bids. Guessing those late komebacks saved quite a bit of you from March Sadness sending your brackets up in flames. The Xavier krowd (with The Donald among them) was not so fortunate. What a kill shot by Wisconsin on that korner 3 at the buzzer.

KOENIG SENDS WISCONSIN TO THE #SWEET16!!!! https://t.co/6MnfXu2T0D

— NCAA March Madness (@marchmadness) March 21, 2016

Bill Murray just can’t even deal with that.

Stunned Bill Murray is stunned pic.twitter.com/pEe01SuJjo

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) March 21, 2016

Seriously, though, what was going on with those Friday-Sunday teams? It felt like an especially wild weekend, but really it was just those two days. I aktually think they forgot to play the Thursday-Saturday games… nothing but radio silence from those… especially in Big Blue Nation.

Now that is March Sadness

Where did all the Kentucky fans go? Looks like they’re hiding.

Wildkats and Sparty, basement dwellers and bottom feeders of the KUBE standings… you all have three days to mourn the Sadness. Then it’s chin up bekause Madness resumes Thursday!

To kwote a wise, wise man…

“WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!“

Me watching basketball on Friday.

I hope none of you obliterated your TVs in anger and/or drunk yourselves into an early bedtime in depression over mighty Michigan State. That was a mere appetizer to the real Madness.

Friday’s final three games — sorry Sparty, but THAT! WAS! MADNESS!!!

Nevermind the results, which did a full 300-like demolition of my brackets. Watching all three of those games go to the wire — and finish with their own flare of mayhem — was what this tournament is all about.

It’s that moment when your thumb hurts from frantically flipping between channels and you realize your laptop and cell phone mirakulously still have battery life. Now your neck hurts from snapping back and forth between screens.

And you love it!

First the Irish rally from a 12-point halftime deficit to prevent what would have eventually been a sweep by the 11 seeds.

Then the 11-seeded Purple Panthers bank in an ikonik half-kourt buzzer beater to win… after Shaka’s Longhorns tied it with 2.7 sekonds left… after UNI led most of the game and by as much as 14, gave up that lead only to take it back late.

Then Cincy loses when what would have been the game-winning dunk stays on their fingertips a mikro-millisecond too long… after blocking a 3 and running the floor to take a lead with 16 sekonds left, only to watch the Joe’s take it right back with a trey five sekonds later… all after losing to UConn in their konference tourney in quadruple overtime no thanks to a mirakulous buzzer from beyond half kourt to tie it at the end of the third OT.

The refs ruled Octavious Ellis’ dunk good, but I think it’s after the buzzer. (Maybe) another heartbreak for Cincy. pic.twitter.com/QiiFYhG1iE

— Andy Wittry (@AndyWittry) March 19, 2016

WHEW!

Let’s just pause a second — okay, a few seconds — to let that all sink in.

Keep in mind these three games ended within minutes of each other.

And keep in mind that these were mostly one-possession games during the sekond half with ekception of a few brief moments of separation.

And keep in mind that these were all swing games in most March Madness pools, with plenty of people on both sides of the aktion. If you won or lost all three, that was a 51-point swing (by KUBE skoring) in either the right or wrong direktion.

Yes, I lost all three.

And I loved it!

OKAY, NOW WE KAN TALK SPARTY

Akkording to Facebook (yes, I’m a professional journalist), 25% of the pool picked MSU as their champion — sekond most behind only the despised Jayhawks. 120 people, to be exact. Only five people picked Middle Tennessee to win this game.

Heck, we even have a bracket named “January, February, Izzo” that made perfect sense when we woke up Friday morning. Aren’t we rekwired by law to pick an Izzo-coached team at least one round beyond what its seed diktates?

The #3 Mountaineers were felled by the #14 Lumberjacks (quite the battle of woodsmen) and #4 Cal was topped by an even better destination: #13 Hawaii.

When the day ended, we had a 15, a 14, a 13, two 12’s, three 11’s, two 10’s and three 9’s moving on… and a #2 seeded Sparty left in their dust. I distinkly remember Jay Bilas telling us to expect a below average number of first-round upsets. The average is 8.

That feeling when you get eliminated from the KUBE in the first round by a directional Tennessee school.

YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHEN…

You’re flipping through your pile of brackets and stumble upon one you thought you threw away. It’s labeled “Upsets” with the word “KUBE” skratched out. This is all because what started as your lead bracket for your most important pool later turned into skratch paper on which you advanced every upset you thought was reasonably possible. Just for fun, of kourse. Just to see what it would look like.

Then you start skoring it. Just for fun, of kourse. Just to see how it would be doing if you aktually had the balls to enter it in even one pool… maybe a pool like the KUBE with a skoring system that rewards upset picks more than any other pool known to man.

Then you realize it only missed five first-round games, and only three heading into Friday’s final flurry.

You know THAT feeling?

Well, I do.

I entered this beauty in all of ZERO pools.

LET”S GO PUKE

Finally, to get you ready for the weekend, I leave you with this gem.

The Headline: “Duke-Yale is the most insufferable college basketball game imaginable“

A few kwotes:

“We’re all losers for having to watch it.”

“On one side, you have Duke, which is Duke, the most hate-able college basketball team in the world. My mom went to Duke and I can’t even get behind this team.”

“On the other hand you have Yale, a nice Cinderella team I guess, but it’s Yale. This is where the kids all tell you they “go to college in Connecticut” with a slight smile, waiting for you to follow up with “Oh UConn?” and then they get to smile and say, “No, it’s in New Haven” and then you realize they go to Yale and you want to just die.”

I’m suing the author for plagiarizing my exact thoughts. Okay, so my Mom went to Valpo and Rory Gilmore is the only Yale grad I know, but you get the point.

Enjoy!

Why does Grayson Allen look like everyone pic.twitter.com/2EdaWltqji

— White Bball Pains (@WhiteBballPains) April 7, 2015